*wE aRe aLL LeaRniNg* 12.30am

im starting to lose grip.. i neeD sOmE assurance... i nEed to believe its true all over again. its is a lonG timE yesh... but i believe faith will hold me tru'... wateva may ComE, but as long as i believe, nobody can take tt away. :]

library was crowded todae. met andre n waiseen there. they cant find a table toO.. i went dwn to level 2 n saw alvin! hahha then join him @ the sofa. aft tt he went dwn to the cafe while i continue there. aft 3hrs i bth liaO.. i fell aslp. hahhas.. then went dwn to the cafe n finD him.. ate dinner together n discuss bout the upcoming interaction camp. he got weird ideas! bian Tai dE! wahhahaa..

chat with eng tat on the phone juz nw. took my mind off studies for awhile. jiayOus eng tat! :] now im going back to drown in hell. yesh studies is a torture. but i like... hehEs :p

*wO bU Zhi DaO* 3.44am

wEeTs! i juz finish work! so shioK.. working always relieve me of strEsS! cuz i get to sEe ppl like aLviN, sueT yEe, hwEemInG, wiLLiS, PeaRLiNe! dUNno y we aloT oF ThiNgS 2 TaLk aBoUT... hahaha.. and todae chin wee came again! tink he came to take his citadels. then javen was on shift toO! so long nvr sEe hiM le..

todae alot of thiNGs to settle.. bout sch de.. Zzz.. sms-es keep coming in when i work... Zzzzz... then yutai n wayne came! hahaha xia dao wo... cuz i working then i saw a letter tt write "w2" on it.. then i took it.. pearline sae my fren pass it to me de.. then aft tt i go dwnstairs take games.. i saw at T9 got customers under the game i wan to take.. i scare will hit him if i drop. so i wanted to ask him becareful.. then i saw is Yutai.. i EH!!! veri loud.. scare them toO! hahahas.. tks for coming to support me :] reli appreciate it :] [:

then todae they got stay over to plae de.. i cant cuz exams cominG :( then tml cant go watch movie with irenes they all toO! always liddat de.. sighs- i dun get to spend alot of timE with any particular grp of freNs.. -sighs- i dun even noe wat im so busy with.. everything is about ScH scH sCh.. i wish hols will comE soOn.. neeD a break..

recently veri luaN!!!! dunNo wats going tru my minD.. aft i heard smTh it became woRsT! n todae i was abit disappointed.. but not very.. hoWs? wat is happEniNG? can somEonE tell me? i nEeD moRe tiMe to myself.. Really...


i FiNd dIs pIc v. FunNiE. Tts mY LaOpa. He like man in Black. wahhaha

*miSseS* 1.53am

hEyys! juz nw tt stupid Xu forgot abt us! he din come for the test tt was suppose to take place at 12noon! in the end we waited at there with Greg Poi.. High-Low was uncontactable! all of us were complaininG but Greg Poi was saying if he's in hospital we'll regret it. then in the end took it at 3pm..

then went town with L2G5.. walk awhile went to meet Eng Tat with Weikang.. we go Far East.. i got a pair of shoeS.. same brand again! love tt bRanD.. neckerman frm NodA.. hehees.. then we went Paragon eat the Ding Tai FenG.. bill came up to $39 but Weikang treated us loRhs! hahah weikanG xie xie ni!

then we went to buy ah pEk ice cream sat dwn at riverside there eaT n talk alot alot.. i felt so relax n happie.. hahahs.. realli so loNG since i talk to eng tat.. duN seE him so lonG nvr coME club.. he super updated.. then we oso luff aloTs.. hahaha.. tks 4 everythiNG!

juz nw i recieve a mail frm mike!! so happiE! he sae he misses me whenever he eat chinese foOd, whenever he sing the song "homE" n "eternal flame" n when he see the little blue slippers i gave him! hahah he's so sweet. aniwaes mike is my fren frm thai.. met him on the Cambodia trip.. realli miss the TiME there! hope to sEe them again SoOn!

*pHeW* 1am

a huge load off my shoulder! i feel so free n easy. tks xiN for listeniNG to me... realli tks.. :] hai u cannt study. heEz... :] tks a million!

i shld stop eating alreadi.. im eating non stop oMG.. wats wronG with mE.. hahhas.. but eating makes me happie.. wahahhah... esp ice cream!!! wEeTs.. hehess...

IC is comiNg.. alex n me are the GLs head. looking 4ward! last chance to GL-hood.. heez... muz treasure it!

i go study le o! jiaYouS! :]

*cHaMpAgNe suPeRnOvA* 1.06am

hMm.. im listening to tt song nw.. tks yutai 4 helping me to d/l.. n vinc for sending me so many other nice soNgs.. so enjoying listening to english soNgs aft endless chinese soNgs.. was inspired by this soNg.. aft fri.. when L2G5 went dwn to cineplex bNj's lounge. listen to 2 guRLs singing.. one name Melody who played the guitar n sang super well.. i tink tt she's super coOL.. n cute toO! hahhas..

how i wish i have half her voice n guitar playin skill n courage n opportunity.. actually i was given the opportunity several timEs.. it was juz tt im too afraid.. suPeR Zzz hohs.. haisH-- realli hope i have the courage to do so someday.. do it as a past timE.. hahahas..

juz nw went to the SMRT challenge.. history repeated itself... juz like USR.. we were unrank.. hahhaa oMg.. din complete in tiMe.. all becuz of one clue : "martians sighted in the east. alight here to battle them pls!" the ans is expo but we din get it.. sigHs-

then in the end we went to changi airport n did lotsa funnie stuff.. naSir push me on the trolley super fast.. so shiOk! hahahha.. then seows n xins soft bone dance made me luff til cramp loHs! hahahha.. bTh them.. show u piCs!


@ the beginninG..


sEoW's FeET sTiNkO!


3 retarDs with their stUpid-move-of-the-day

*i CaN't* 3.35am

HeYys! todae i went for work.. actually suppose go sch for fa jin's ultimate frisbee.. but i slpt tru ouT.. cuz ytd stayed out the whole nite.. slpt at west coast park .. oMg.. hahahas.. kenna alot mosquito bites.. Zzz..

then todae work was alrites.. not busy.. the customers are self sufficient. hahas.. then guess who came back? chinweE! hahahs.. he botak liaO.. hahha.. he dun wan take off cap lemme sEe... he juz came to visit us.. so loNg nvr see hiM le.. heez... then got to noe Pearline.. nice girL.. studying at NUS.. 2nd year.. she was frm SAJC toO! when i yr 1 she was yr 2. hahas.. but nvr see her b4.

hMm.. fri we played cap ball.. 3 rouNDs.. we lost 2.. haish- still cant believe we lost to CADC.. the other was team Qinobe.. is the sch bball guys team. OnE oF the player is call Liu De Hua.. wahahha.. he is the main sinGeR in SUperBanD Si-NoOb-Be.. tts wat yongzhen tolD mE laRhs.. i nvr watch de.. wahhaha.. aniwaes tt onE we gave up.. 13-2.. hahah omG..

then lata is the SMRT challenge.. budden alex suffering frm exhaustioN.. dun tink he can make it.. then i duNno hw.. duNo can replace anot. or will kena disqualify.. i will be super disappointed if cannot plae.. oMg.. i so looking 4ward to iT.. haish---

DuNnos


BoTaK cw, aLviN n mE in thE HoLdiNg :]


WeNz, mE n Nu eR @ suntec's b n J's


mE n Ms OwYoNg!

*hErE wE Go aGaiN* 12.10am

abit Zzz... stop critisinG and blaming me for all ur negative feelings toward life.. tts juz so typical u.. to push the blame to everyone else.. things hasnt change since then... realli look at urself b4 u comment on me. y issit my fault tt u are unhappie? u have control over ur own emotions, i dun owe u anythinG...

juz nw finally go swensons eat with team xiong xiong. tml i have molBio but i haven study finish i still go eat.. and i din regret. i made tt choice cuz i noe we seldom will have the chance to get together agaiN.. n i realli realli enjoyed myself! tks all for making my day :] n nasir.. sorrie for wat went wrong with the phoNe.. realli v sorrie... dui bu qi! :]

aniwaes we were v noisy n rowdy in the cafe. keep talking loudly bout crude stuff n singing happie bday whenever the music comes on. hahahs.. but they realli v funnie. tx treat us 2 giant earthquake n 2 fries.. tks bear! juz nw kena hit in the eye by marloN.. abit pain pain. but nvm.. hahha.. :]

*iM ReAdiNg sELF hELp boOk!*12.18am

-sighs- i din get a chance to update my blog again! arghH.. something happen juz nw.. then now im too sleepy to update.. juz some impt stuff..

went to work on sat. v nice to see them.. and then there's this gap between the older n newer staff.. hmM.. time changes everythiNg.. miss fizah n chinwee.

i read who moved my cheese juz nw. HmM.. inspirinG.. fav quote: what wld u do if u werent afraid? alot of things i wld have doNE... but yea.. lets move on.. dun ask what if. ask why not. hahahs..

im tired toO.. everyone is.. realli hope things will turn for the better for everyone.. im sure each of us have our little problem.. urs might seem insignificant to mine.. n mine insignificant to urs..

kays i realli buay tahan liaO. nites! :]

*GoOd MoRniNg!* 5.30am

can i like die right now? its super early in the morning.. i was trying to chiong my molbio. frm i came hm chiong til nw still haven finish. wth lohs.. Zzz.. okay i slpt half an hr larhs.. tks to Nasir for waking me up. or else i realli can go bang wall liaOx.

aniwaes report aside, did i mention tt Ms Owyong is back! this tue juz went out with her, sooeng, karen, irenes, wenjie. we went suntec to eat Fish n Co. but b4 tt i have MC meeting so i went late, din get to eat. hahahs.. then Ms Owyong brought us to Ben & Jerry's and she treated us icecream! wOoTs! she super funny larhs. miss her so much! then she drove all of us home... she oso super kPo.. wahhaha.. everytime see me 1st thing is sae : so who u with now? :p

lata theres work. i still needa go take camera. Zzz... juz nw played caps ball with the just formed team. consist of alex, joan, huitong, me, clar, bernerd n mervyn. then we plae against alvin n the year 1s. they quite zai ehS. then weix n nasir n papa n anthony joined us toO! anywaes v shiok! hahahs.. love cap ball.. :]

okies.. i nw juz crappin n crappin cuz i waiting for the file transfer frm alex to finish. super long already larhs.. since i log on net. left abit more nias. Zzzz...

*exHiLaRaTeD* 11.30pm

iM SoOo SooOo SooOo haPpiE!!! TeaM Xiong XionG came in 4th!!! wahahha.. oMg! im happie cuz i noE i did my best, n i noe my whole grp did their best! hahahs.. we rawk totally! hahahs

i was the last runner for the race, when i passed tt line the person gimme a tag with no.5 on it. i was nt tinking properly then. the 1st tot tt came to my mind was this is round no.5. i was quite shocked.. budden the person ask me proceed to the table then i started tinking clearly. n realise tt the tag might indicate our position. hahahs.. scare me.

then aft tt i din noE where to go. i was trying hard to catch my breath and when i saw tatxiong n nasir cominG.. i suddenly felt v happie.. i was juz v relieve n happie to see them. hahaha.. tx ask the person our position. she told us 4th! and i was smiling non stop omG.. i cldnt control.. we were all so happie we hug each other.. hahhaa.. it has been so lonG since i felt this kinda feeling.. nth can describe.

now tt poly50 is over. i feel kinda sad too.. realli weird to have days ahead without traininGs.. im realli gonna miss team xiong xiong.. realli realli... i made gd frens frm there.. quite sad actually.. and i learn alot of thiNGs frm them. wan 2 cry le :`(

tru poly50, i i realli respect tatxioNG as my cap. he have taken alot of trouble to "nag" n "scold" us... and in the end we earn smth for him n ourselves! hehehs :] i noe tx u will nt be seeing this but juz wanna sae: thank u captain! :]

another chapter close. next up cap ball traininG.. my skill sucks somehw.. i cant seem to plae properly. yucks. i realli hope to improve n not let my team keep me juz becuz im their gd fren. musnt let them dwn! :]

it has been a month plus plus plus. im nt going to give up so easily! i will cont to wait :] gd things always happen to ppl whu r patient enuff.

*i WEnT To GeYLaNg WiTh NaM NaM yTd* 1.20am

im so sorrie nam nam. i forgot wats the title we discussed to put up on my blog. hahaa.. i tink it is smth like this.. hahaha..

aniwaes portugal lost :( i still cant believe they score tt oG. it was so.... so.. horrible. haish.

i went with xin, seow, LP, siling, cornelius(LP bro) to nite cycling on fri nite. it was cool. i finish AGM ard 7 then i rush dwn there.. the stupid heels gave me a nasty wound on the feet.. haiz i hate heels. then reach paya lebar wait for xin they all cycle to there frm ecp with the bikes. then i go eat LJS. then sit there watch ppl dance n wait. then SL came. we wait together til 11 plus.

xin seow n the bro came 1st.. LP was behind cuz she was cycling on her bike n pulling my bike along with her.. she ask us go rocher tau huay wait for her. finally she came n i felt so super guilty n admiration for her. she so small size yet so stroNg.. her hand was shaking, she was wet frm sweating n her legs were filled with the oil marks. the bike is super heavy lohhs. power girL! hahahs

then we go cycle til changi.. the road is realli like nvr ending lohs... Zzz.. we cycle half an hr liao still on the same stretch of road, still can see changi airport.. hahahs.. nvr seen such long road b4! then we go OCH explore.. the 4th time i've been there. nth much de.. let ppl vandalise til nth to sEe... n veri sian cuz i cannot find the rooftop rabnick brought us to the 1st time i went there.

then the next morn we lost our way back to ecp so i was late for the briefin. so me seow xin went to the 2nd breifin. then aft tt i went hm slp 2 hrs n went for poly50 traininG. it was a great run tt day. jersey is short. hahah.. then went to eat at suntec with sis.. then they inform me no need work..Zzz but i alreadi promised nam nam go watch soccer with him. cuz i calculated properly. 3am finish work then go there. paiseh to cancel so i went ahead.

we went geylang eat tauhuay. he super lame n funnie. i luff til i nearli cant breathe loh.. hahha.. then go watch soccer with at chiJmes. he ordered one jug of heineken. i cant drink, so i drank a few sips. then he ordered strawberry milkshake for me lohs. i slp alot at there super tired. haish. portugaL.. haish. nvm lata Italy will win! :]

*SpEciaL -aDdiTiOn-*

i 4got to thank one more person. hahahs.. here goes

thanks to that particular retard who always ask for a gd whack on the stomach. yupps it does release somE stress.. and u noe wat? it addictive! hahahs :p

*Or-Kun!*

no matter how crap my life i noe there are a few ppl who will always stand by me. and tts enough..

thanks to the 1st person who came to my mind to sms when im feeling like shit.

thanks to that someone who always give me a brillant smile when u see me.

thanks to u who always sae u will hold up the sky for me it if falls ^_-

thanks to her who always tell me tt she's juz an sms away.

thanks to them, they always brighten up my day.

althogether ive thank 4 ppl n 1 non-living thing. hahas.. if any one of the sentences here sounds familiar to u, then yupps, im thanking u! xie xie ni! :]

*CaNT TaKe iT* 11.40pm

i tink im going tru a mental breakdown. oMg.. im friggin short tempered, n jumpy n moody n fed up. i get piss v easily. i juz got pissed off with someone. and im feeling so stuffed up in the chest right now. and the other moment i will feel so sad... and self pityful. i tink any moment im going to start cryinG.. wats wronG with me oman.

i cant seem to finish those reports.. i realli tryinG to plan my tiMe. theres the nite cycling this fri, i noe u gonna sae i can choose nt to go for tt. but i wan to go cuz its impt. im trying to regain smth i've lost. smth u wun understand... and i've oso promise weixin to go. plus i realli need some timE out.

sat morning dere's SMRT briefing. afternoon theres poly50 traininG.. this one i muz go. its like super impt. with the whole team running n takin timing. n tx mention specifically he hope the whole team to be dwn. so im nt going to let them dwn. and then theres work at nite. i push it to 10pm - 2am.

sun im sure to wake up late n have to study for tue's test n where do i get my time to do the mol bio report. i noe is my own prob. who ask me dun do earlier. but i realli cant find the FRIGGIN TIME!!! ever since i came back frm cambodia theres a friG lot to do. i havent stop working since. so many responsibilities. so much to tink of. so many thing at risk. right nw. i realli cant take it.

but i noe soon i will be donE with this report n i will be able to take it again. so yahh.. this entry is juz for me to vent my frustration! -sighs.

*ThOuGhTs* 1.30pm

okay.. im left with half an hr to sch so i came to blog. was actually doinG my report but im like so saturated i cannot liaOs... have been going on with it since early morninG.. din watch ytd's match.. dunno why i was so tired i fell aslp. Zzz...

im not going to update bout the trip juz yet. my photos are nt back yet :( slow poke olympus. things are going well nowadays? hahha.. i tink so. juz tt i've been super stress last weekenD. cuz of reports, test, PR meeting, work n poly50 training. all occuriNg together. i noe i've no tiMe already. but yet there are still some responsibility i cant shy away frm.

no matter how well i tink i manage my timE, time juz doesnt seem to be enuff for me to use. there are alot of thinGs tt others deem not-so-impt but i put as top priority. thus its all mess up. like last week's outinG. i threw aside my report n left during the last round of poly50 training to go to the outing with the Asean youth team. I was the organiser summore. Why do i bother when i've gt enuff on my hands? i did becuz they are a bunch of ppl i realli appreciate. amongst them are ppl who i noe realli care.

im nt a very generous person. i dun give extra. i treat ppl how they treat me. even if my 1st impression of u is bad, i can see n feel if u are realli truthful n i will treat u exactly the same. i do more for ppl whom i feel worth. 1 great example is sooenG. til now i dun tink i did enuff to repay her for how gd a fren she is.

i dun have alot of energy for anyone else right now. nth matters at the moment. i told myself, he/she is not a bad person juz becuz he/she is not behaving the way i want he/she to be. i still hold strong onto this statement and clung on to my faith. everyone has their own way of coping, and mine currently work for me..