*Grief is private, but the whole nation is grieving with you* 12.45am


we shld keep on remembering them. pay a tribute to them by visiting the websites below...







i cant imagine the pain the families and loved ones are feeling. it is true wat they said, the ones who are alive suffer more than those who pass on.

*Why?* 12am

i cant focus on anything much. the qns "why?" kept revolving around my mind.

i feel like i juz wanna sit dwn n stare into blank space. thinkin. why?

it was n still is so shocking. it's so hard to believe. when i saw the photo, i was totally dumbfounded. i cldnt tink right. so many "whys?" were going tru my head.

why? i began lookin, msging, msn-ing anyone. looking for concrete evidence. but deep inside, i already noe it's the truth. but i still cant bring myself to believe it. how did i not realise.

he knew why i went to look for him. he answered my doubts w/o even me asking. somehow i began to cry, sobbing uncontrollably, n i didnt want to control. i juz wanna ask why. i wan to turn around n ask my mummy "why?", it is really not fair.

i dont understand.

*The cat is BACK!* 1am

yesh! she's back. n she gave me a scare! this cat is uber clever lahhs! i was peeping out frm the peep hole n i cant see her, cuz she's juz rite underneath my door. then i saw the metal gate swinging open by itself. damn freaky lah! the cat can open my metal gate! n summore it stop mewing, i turned back to go back to using comp, it used its paws to pound at the door! i let out a scream n ran to my sister la.. this cat is realli v scary la. hahaha

recently read the news report on the 5 dragon boater who went missing n were later found dead while participating in a race in the Tonle Sap river in Cambodia. somehow i felt v sad upon reading the news. dunno y. lata heard tt 1 of them is a fren's fren. death is so real. it comes knocking when u least expect it. hw can anyone predict their own death. the dragon boaters had finish their competition, but asked for a leisure row, who noes it will end up with the death of 5 of the team members. its realli so sad. they were young n healthy, whom ppl dun normally associate death with. saddening...

treasure everyday

*sCary* 1.15am

ho ho ho! so nice rites? i love Xmas spirits! :]

juz nw when i my flat dwnstairs. i was smsing, nvr look at the floor. then i heard n felt a crunch underneath my right foot. i turned back n i saw a squashed a cockroach!!!!!!! OMG LA!!!! i actually killed a cockroach!!!! it's the 1st time leH! im so proud of myself! wahahhahaa.. budden my hair kept standing aft tt. so er... hahhaa

*Unconditional?* 1.50am

its so difficult to read ppl's mind.

finally FYP is over. left with only the presentation. next week going Ms Yee's wedding over the weekend. can't wait! :] budden hope to complete the FYP ppt rehearsal all tt b4 next next week. 5 dec is our presentation le!

juz nw aft sch went to jog. and so qiaO saw Nasir. he was going to jog toO. so we go jog together. talk talk talk while jogging. it's so nice to catch up. he's 1 person i can talk anything to. it feels so good to talk! hehes..

aft tt went to play bball then go eat @ FC3 together with Alvin, aft his NAFA. tml going with Kyla n GuanJie to participate in the SMIT Board Game Rally. We r gonna win them all! wahahhaa.. Colin sponsered them the game lo! such a good idea, y din i tink of it when i was a MC. hahaha..

past few days slpt like 1-3hrs la. OC presentation, quizzes. nw finally better le.

sometimes i feel afraid to put certain tots up here. and i wonder hw long more can i go on like this. everytime smth like tt happen, the pang in the heart n i juz close my eyes, wishing it to go away. as much as i hate to admit, what he had said is true. u made me feel tt my decision is so right.

cant wait to start :]

*Make the Right Choice* 9.30pm

i made a choice which is heart over head. i decided i need to noe when to let which take the lead. i have realli been nt myself for far too long. not everything needs to be logical n rational. sometimes, u just have to go. :]

juz nw went to scare Weixin. hahaha.. read the tag she left for me n i da baO pizza n went to her home. not 100% sure she wld be home, but juz try my luck. n tt dumbo is there alrite. hahah.. she is v stupid. i shall nt elaborate here. hahaha.. :p

then study at her hse.. well more like me disturbing her. i noe for sure i wun be able to study de. hahaha.. but nVm larhhs.. i keep searching for food n when Zuki saw me eating, he keep staring at me with those pitiful eyes. n if tt doesnt work, he start to use the fierce method. bark n bark non-stop. Zzzz...

then went to scare Seow, ask her out for dinner. but she dun looked veri surprise.. hahaha.. she still bring her notes dwn to study. so ke lian. i see them liddat i really sadds.. i've also told them my decision le. :] let's hope everything turns out right.

saw kelvin lim on the bus ytd. then juz nw saw junhao. keep meeting old frens. hahhaa.. hope to see more sOon! takkaires all!

oh btw, i really really miss Captain ball. has been a week since the last training! my hand is aching like mad!!! HUAT JIN! pls... training pls.........

37 days more to Christmas! :]

tired like anything. i go slp! nites!

All of us!

*Scrabble!* 12.34am

whew` i joined the Staff n Student games todae. played Scrabble. it was scary lahhs.. cuz i was still reading the rulebook like last min? n desperately memorising the 2 letter words list tt PengRu passed to me.. hahaha.. heng my Settler's game skills came into use, not the hosting part, but the reading the rulebook w/n a min part. hahhaa..

i played agst a Maths Dept teacher, i made 2 mistakes in the game lahhs. i din noe we cant go backwards, the words can only be frm left to right. i asked her she sae can! in the end she ask me wat work is tt -.- hahhaa.. i kept taking letters like Z n X lahhss! i was so desperate, i even put the word "anal" wahahahha.. n i wanted to put SEX lo. but i dun dare! wahhahaa.. was waiting for Y so mabbe can put SEXY. hhaha

in the end i lost to her by 42 points. i had a 40 point headstart so lost by 2 points. hahaha.. it was quite fun. but the stopwatch was reli stressful. tink im gonna plae it more often, with my sis or smth. hahaha..

then stayed back in sch til 7 plus to do the report. Fri needa hand in le! yay!!! but next week is gonna be like mad. can die lo. 2 quiz, 1 formal presentation n slides for FYP. n some stuff tt i needa settle. siaNz....

im so looking forward to Christmas!!! i dunno y but christmas gives me a very good feeling. it's the festival i like most! special things always happen on Christmas! hahhaa.. n nt forgetting the gifts!!! which r mostly goodies! hehehe.. cant wait to shop for Christmas! :]

*2 mOre days to Report Dateline* 12am

i juz reached home! + bathing time n chit chatting with my sis n mom, yahhs.. juz settled dwn. was in sch chionging FYP report with Alvin. we ate dinner @ FC4 then stayed in club til like 10plus. we ransacked 7-11 and loaded ourselves w chocolates. energy boosters. i tink we gorged on like 150grams of chocolates. Dark choco, gummy choco. n he drank some Starbucks Frappe.

i got realli bored towards the end n i started to find entertainment. n i kope someone's foto! wahahhaha.. i cut n paste liaO! hahaha.. wait for the right moment then must threaten tt person. hehehe

aniwaes im juz here to slack abit. waha! i nw muz go back to the report le. seriously im quite nervous le! aft listening to WBS talked bout our report. -sighs. its gonna be over soOn!!! hehees!

*The Handsome Young Boy* 12.20pm

Finally, a good shot. (zeze is so handsome rite?)

i played with him til i was realli so tired. kid's realli got everlasting energy. Zzz... then i had to lure him to go to take his nap. hahah... he asked me to slp on the mattress below his bed. so i juz pretended to lie there. but he kept coming to peep at me, n i made a mistake of opening one eye to see whether he is peeping at me. n suddenly, we started playing all over again.

he kept giggling n @ one point he use his head to bump into mine! OmG. it was like super PAINFUL la! i concuss for a while, n i tot he's gonna cry or smth, but he con't playing n giggling... Zzzz...

then me n Qing decided to call his Dad in to put him to bed. so his Dad slpt with him while i left the room. n he kept caliing where's Jie Jie? n he started to cry v v v loudly. i was standing at the door peeping in frm the doorcrack. OmG, my heart wrenched when i heard his cries. but i couldnt go in, or else he won't take his nap le. Finally, he cried himself to slp...

the husband went out while me n Qing had a good 1hr plus chat in the kitchen. we ate Mantou oso.. wahahha... we couldnt find a cloth to cover the Mantou while steaming so end up using Zeze's handkerchief. Yewww... wahahhahaa it was clean la. haha

i left b4 zeze wake up. went home already 5 plus le. was so tired, took a nap. then my stupid hp keep giving me problem. soon im gonna go to Sony Ericsson n throw the phone on their heads. so frigging irritating leh! ppl DO NOT BUY SONY ERICSSON W580i! sucks la.

then i went to Suntec. @ Citylink's Adidas i saw this bag lo! oMg, love @ 1st sight. wahahhaa... but it was alot more expensive. n i went to MS to see tt Nike 40% off bag. last piece le. i was looking at the bag for like 10mins? then one of the salesperson approached me, he ask if i needed help. so i told him to check for me issit reli the last piece. then when it is cfm i took another 10min to look at the bag. (a true Libra) hahaha.. then he approached me again n i told him i cldnt decide. he asked me why i cldnt decide, so i told him bout the Adidas bag.

he said since im carrying a Nike bag nw why nt get a Nike bag. but i told him i was carrying an Adidas one b4 it spoilt. then he was luffing. then i told him to give me a few more mins. then his colleague came over n start psychoing me on how tt Nike bag suit me. hahaha.. but in the end i decided my heart was with Adidas, i wanted to get smth i like, nt buying aa bag for the sake of buying a bag. n furthermore, the strap was too short. wahahhaha! so ta-da! i thank them n i left. hahahha..

yea. wanted to go get smth but tt stupid place dun have! haiz.. n it was too late to go anywhere else. Zzzz... hope i can carry out tt plan todae! :]

oh ya. one more ting b4 i end. update on the Fri's BE match. 55-3! we won! :] there's 1 stupid guy in their team who is so super noisy. n the last ball they score cuz he pushed Arnold. Arnold was so burning mad. he even scold him vulgarity. tt stupid BE guy only noe hw to talk, if realli wanna fight tink he will be the 1st to run away.

i made a mistake again. siaNz. 2nd time. i wun let it happen again. i felt so angry at myself. Zzzz... i swear im not gonna let it happen again.

Though i din get the support n concern frm the ppl tt i tot ought to, but i recieved lots more from others i din expect to, so i am happy. he is right. thank you! :]

*FYP is ending SOON!* 2am

wOoHhooO!!! next week we r gonna submit FYP! oMg oMg so exciting! then we are gonna present in 3 weeks time n everything will be over! wahahhahaha! yea man! FYP wasnt as scary as i tot to be. mabbe we were lucky to get this proj. aniwaes pray for good grades! hehes

HAPPY DEEPAVALI everyone! hahah athough was ytd! juz nw went out with Jiawen tt ben dan. go Starbucks then MS. n i got wat i wanted! im so lucky! n oso my bag got a 40% discount!!!! i nvr wait for nth lo! oMg im so happy. but nw i dunno to buy the white or orange one! cuz Jiawen tinks tt white is nicer.. n i quite believe her taste. hahha.. hmmm.... muz chiong to buy lo. scare no more stock! anione wanna get smth frm B.I.R.D Nike? must be $46 n above. i can give u $6 discount. wahhahaa! im serious. $6 u can go eat Hakkaido ice cream kays! hahah.. come look for me if u want! :]

then tml is the match! final one b4 going into Semi-finals. i've found back my old playing style. n im so happy doing it. i dunno why. juz tink tt it's more me bahhs.. Alex ask me I really can mah.. I believe i can.

alot of things there is realli no wrong or right. during match i realise, ppl might be telling u not to do this, nt to do tt, esp when it doesnt raise the score. but hw does he noe he is right? the 1st attempt might not be successful, the 2nd might nt be either, but mabbe the 3rd n subsequent ones will contribute. who knows? so nw i noe in order to play better, all u gotta do is believe in urself, even when no1 else does. do not be influence to do things u arent comfortable with. WeiJian told me to shoot with confidence. n im gonna do it. :] i so enjoy playing captain ball...

*Let's Go!* 11.30pm



E-learning week is ending! nOoOoooooo!!!! sighs- there goes my rest week. n i haven accomplish much academically. -.- siaNz.. at least the FYP report 1st draft is done. and about time toO. hmm Ops Black is over toO! good! i tink tt was the event tt took up most of my E-learning n made me miss the SC match :( but wat to do. i took up tt responsibility. but it was not too bad though. got to interact with quite a no. of customers. n had fun doing the filming! hahaha..

Played MM juz nw. we won. but my stupid toe bled halfway tru the game. had to suB out cuz too painful. stupid shoes keep giving me proBlem. then went to Bugis to eat. Weijian came to support us tOo. he mentioned smth bout my shooting, which i haven realli realise til now. ought to give it some thought. aniwaes we went to MS aft tt. I went to Gloria Jeans to study while Kevin, Jiawen n Jian Wei went to play pool.

then ard 6 plus Alvin joined us n we went back to sch to watch SMA vs SB. SB lost the match by 4 points. was a close fight. n a good one. Bryan was funnie. he mimic the No.8 of SMA when he faked a fall. had a gd luff.

watching tt match brought back memories again. memories of last year's match. i rmb anger, frustration, exasperation n finally sadness. i am not the least bit discouraged, just even more determined.

i juz hope tt we get to play SMA. i dunno hw the fixtures is gonna be. if we r playing SPSU 1st, then there might be a chance we wun play SMA. seriously wat matters more to me now is nt winning the whole match, cuz im quite sure the Challenge Shield wont be ours this year. Wat matters more is winning SMA. n i believe we will. :]

its impossible for the whole team to feel the same. n im not going to try to do so. all noe we have a feud with them, but not all actually knows hw it felt. the desire to get back at them, fair n square.

teams who use underhand method to win dun deserve to be treated with kindness. they r simply showing disrespect for the opponent (which i dun tink they give a damn) and the game of captain ball. shaking hands @ the end of a match doesnt make up for all the wrongs tt was done during the game. u cant juz sae sorrie n walk away aft whamming somebody in the face.

i am confident of the team, n myself. for the next few weeks, i will definitely work to become better. to remain in tip-top condition til the match. pray there will be no unforseen circumstances. pray for safety. pray for minimal injuries. :]

u might find it hard to understand, but this is not JUST A GAME for me.