I GoT HuRT. aLoT. aNd NoW i WaNT To HuRT BaCk [Mon Oct 25, 2004. 12.21am]
mmm.... scary thought isn't it... nah.. im not thinking bout it. dun worrie. i wasnt hurt.

it feels so nice to forgive and forget. no pressure. no stress. juz me and my own thoughts. i feel like doing so mani things on my own. going to east coast sitting on the breakwater. the wind blowing in my hair... staring out onto the horizon. putting all worries aside. and sorting out my life. figuring out wat im all about. thinking bout wat i really want. all the ppl i've met. all the fun and bad times. all the times i have hurt someone with my words and actions. lying under the stars.. let all my worries be taken away. and wishing all the pain ive brought to any of u heal.. i realli didnt mean to hurt anione whom i did hurt. Even if it was juz that guy whose toes i had step on.

life is realli about so much more. it isnt as simple as i thought it would be. it isnt as easy as going tru education and marriage animore. when i saw the cuts on her hand, i had a shock. she said it was nth. but i cld see they werent simple scars gotten frm trainings. wat shld i do. juz leave her alone? let the self abuse go on? i couldn't could i? i have to do smth. but waT?

why is life so stressful and un-simple for some? why couldnt life juz be an indulgence? why are we given birth to with a burden on our backs. nth is as naive and as holy as when we were young animore. dun u juz wish that u cld stay a baby. with ur family and everyone elses love and affection? i felt pain frm all the mishaps. it is all so unfair. they din do anything to deserve this kind of treatment.

why did i do tt. hurting u the way i did. and juz for some stupid idiotic THING. and listen. it's a THING. u were worth much more. trust me. and u definitely dun deserve a selfish person. so i will not be doing anything to amend things. u deserve much more kind soul. u deserve alot more..................