*ThE daY HaS CoMe* 3.35am

dreadful day todae is.. simply 100% gloomy. it started off so beautifully, with the sun shining brightly n everything was looking well.

i woke up early to go see qing n zeze.. so happy to see zeze playin with the toy i gave him.. those put shapes in de.. put alot of times keep asking me "open. open. open" he super cute lohhs.. veri smart.. only 1 yr ++ then he noes alot of things liaO. is my godson n qing's son indeed. wahahhaa.. realli hope can go visit them often.

aft tt went to cut hair. on the bus it already started to rain. i was bored.. so i thought about alot of thinGs.. budden the hair stylist super gd oso.. chatted alot.. he gave me alot of advices.. then charge veri cheap.. he got wash, cut, temp straighten for me lohhs..

so everything was well.. till i was about to leave for work. mummy asked me to look @ piyo n she started crying. i wasnt very much affected @ first, becuz i knew this day wld come. piyo has been slimming dwn frm a lump of fats til skin n bones in juz a month. mummy sae its cuz of age. @ 1st piyo was so fat n cuddly.. as day pass, i look @ her in the cage, she grew so thin n weak.. till recently she was realli so weak she cant even walk properly. she walk a step she will fall n roll ard on her back.. everytime i see hw she is growly so weak n sickly day by day it hurts n i din have the heart to look anymore.. thus i stop going to look @ her so often. i always felt it wld be better if she goes, rather then seeing her health deteoriate everyday. i realli cant stand crying everytime i look @ her.

but todae when mummy started crying, i started crying too. it was too much to bear seeing her lying there and even opening of eyes take up every little bit of strength in her. piyo had been in the family since 2 years ago.. soo eng gave her to me.. i chose her out of so many other hamsters. as she was the only pet i had at tt time, i went to her when i was sad. even though she is juz a hamster. she is not juz any hamster, she is special. piyo fav food is peanut butter n kaya. she eats chocolate too. n she can juz lay there n let us tickle her stomach.. we wanted to bring her for a hamster competition. but mummy rmb the date wrongly n we went there a day aft..

i left for work with piyo lying there with shaky legs n hands. when i came home frm work @ 3am. once i stepped into the hse i have a dreaded feeling. i went in to see a small box which mummy put piyo in earlier in the day, only this time the lid is covered n the box is in a plastic bag. piyo's cage is cleared. i tot i was ready for it. i realli tot so.. but i juz breakdwn n cry even though the whole family is slping.. does it sound stupid? she is juz a hamster, why am i so sad? i realli cannot control , and i dun wan to control animore. i wan to let it all out. n when u are crying, all the sad things juz start to flow in, not only the one tt started u crying. i touch piyo who is wrapped in tissue paper, her body felt so cold n i started to cry even harder. i cant stand death.

why do living things have to die? why do every human have to go tru the pain of losing. im so afraid of losing my loved ones.. i realli dunno wat i will do when tt day comes. will i be strong enuff to go on or will i juz let sadness overwhelm me. i've always tot i've been tru tt i will be strong enuff to take anything. but nw i tink im so wrong.

recently most is nt going well.. but i have strong faith i will be okay soOn. i have seen this b4, it is juz another similar case. if only i can open up my "eyes", then i tink i will see...